Empathy: The Power of Understanding
"I can only imagine what you are feeling right now."
Have you ever heard those words? It’s a simple sentence, but it has the power to change the life of the person you're speaking to. Empathy is something we can all work on and practice more with each other. While it’s easier said than done, it’s possible to grow as an empathetic person in several ways, which are vital not only in professional leadership but also in our roles as spouses, parents, friends, and members of our communities.
At the heart of empathy is the ability to see things from another person’s perspective, to actively listen, and to use emotional intelligence to connect with them. It’s important to note that empathy is different from sympathy. Sympathy involves recognizing someone else’s suffering, while empathy means putting yourself in their shoes and truly understanding their experience from their point of view. This distinction matters because it’s easy to feel sorry for someone, but it takes effort to stop, listen, and be fully present with someone in their current situation. Empathy has the power to transform your leadership and relationships for the better.
Why Perspective Matters
Years ago, someone told me, “What’s common sense to you isn’t common sense to someone else.” At first, it sounded absurd, but over time, I realized just how true it is. We’ve all been raised differently. We have unique childhoods, life lessons, beliefs, and worldviews that shape how we understand the world. Recognizing and respecting these differences is a key step in building empathy.
To develop empathy, one of the most effective ways is to seek out other perspectives. This begins by asking open-ended questions that allow people to share their thoughts and feelings freely. It’s important to avoid pinning them down to black-and-white answers because emotions are rarely that simple. Letting someone express themselves without the pressure of providing an answer opens the door to deeper understanding.
I’ve experienced healing in conversations where others not only listened to my words but actively imagined themselves in my shoes. They didn’t just hear me; they connected with my emotions. These moments showed me how empathy allows people to step outside their perspective and embrace someone else’s.
The Art of Active Listening
“Listening is one of the most important skills a leader can possess.” – John C. Maxwell
Active listening goes beyond simply hearing someone speak. It involves giving them your full attention, truly understanding what they’re saying, and responding thoughtfully. Over the years, I’ve come across a few behaviors that show someone is listening—behaviors that, when applied, can strengthen relationships both personally and professionally:
Maintaining eye contact: This small gesture shows that you’re fully engaged in the conversation. It’s difficult to stay connected with someone who avoids eye contact, but when you maintain it, you signal that you are present and focused on them.
Letting them finish their thoughts: While interruptions may sometimes be well-intentioned, they can come across as dismissive. Allowing someone to finish their thoughts shows respect and prevents misunderstandings. It also ensures that you’ve heard their entire message before responding.
Avoiding assumptions: Jumping to conclusions before someone has finished speaking can lead to miscommunication. Listening fully allows you to understand what they’re truly saying. When people feel heard, they’re more likely to open up, and the conversation becomes deeper and more meaningful. In my own life, this has been a game changer in my relationship with my wife. By growing as active listeners, we’ve strengthened our communication and built a deeper connection.
Emotional Intelligence: The Foundation of Empathy
Empathy is closely tied to emotional intelligence, a concept popularized by Daniel Goleman. Emotional intelligence is about being aware of and managing your own emotions, as well as understanding and influencing the emotions of others. This is crucial when it comes to building strong, empathetic relationships.
It starts with self-awareness—understanding how your emotions impact your behavior. After all, leadership is about influence, and self-regulation is key to responding to situations calmly and effectively. This awareness allows you to step into social awareness, where you can better understand and empathize with the emotions of others.
John C. Maxwell sums it up well: “Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your own emotions and the emotions of others, and to manage your own emotions effectively.” Over the past few years, I’ve worked on developing greater self-awareness, which has helped me respond more constructively in challenging situations. By managing my own emotions, I’ve been better equipped to empathize with others, stepping into their shoes with a more open heart and mind.
Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Empathy
Empathy is a powerful tool that can change both you and the person you’re showing it to. It’s not just about understanding someone else’s feelings; it’s about building trust, connection, and stronger relationships. One of the greatest examples of an empathetic leader is Jesus. Whether you believe in him or not, his ability to walk alongside others, listen without judgment, and truly make people feel seen offers a timeless lesson in empathy.
At its core, empathy is rooted in love. It begins with emotional awareness—understanding our feelings—so that we can listen to others without interrupting and take on perspectives that may be completely foreign to us. The next time someone opens up to you, instead of jumping in with sympathy or solutions, pause. Listen deeply and say, "I can only imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you."
